Traditional finance advice tells us to track every penny and cut back on everything—but that rarely works. Instead, take a step back, craft a vision for your ideal life, and align your spending with what truly matters.
I believe you should spend freely on what you love, as long as you cut back on what you don’t. Money should be used meaningfully, and this exercise will help you identify your priorities. Since most conversations about money focus on restriction, it takes practice to spend with intention—so be patient with yourself and your partner.
Step 1: Identify Your Money Levers
Once you’ve clarified your vision (email me if you're unsure how), assess your money levers, where you’d like to spend more and where you’d be willing to cut back. Your choices may differ from your partner’s, and that’s okay.
Start by answering these questions:
- What’s something you once wanted to spend on but no longer do?
- What would you love to spend on now but feel hesitant to admit?
- If you had $250 to create amazing memories four times a year, how would you use it?
- What’s something easy to cut back on? What would be difficult?
- What’s a small, regular purchase that brings you happiness?
- What was your best vacation? What made it great?
- How do you want to celebrate an upcoming milestone?
Now, where do you love to spend money? Your spending reveals your values. If you’re unsure, scroll through your photos for clues. Common money levers include:
- Food & dining
- Travel
- Health & fitness
- Kids & family activities
- Live shows
- Convenience
- Home improvement
- Gifts & relationships
- Luxury experiences
- Charitable giving
- Self-improvement
Step 2: Cut Back on the Right Things
When cutting back, don’t trim a little from everything. Instead, focus on your biggest expenses, the areas where real change creates financial freedom to spend more on what matters.
Key areas to assess:
- Housing & Cars: These are often the largest expenses. Downsizing can make a major impact.
- Eating Out: A common blind spot where quick adjustments free up extra cash.
- Invisible Costs: Review subscriptions, travel expenses (transportation, tips, taxes), and other overlooked spending.
Step 3: Redirect with Purpose
Every dollar you cut should be redirected toward something meaningful—your Yes Levers, paying off debt, saving, or investing. Instead of focusing on every small decision, prioritize key numbers: fixed costs, savings, investments, and guilt-free spending.
To succeed, be patient, communicate openly, and make trade-offs together. When you're aligned on your Yes Levers, you won’t dwell on what you cut—you’ll be excited about what you’re creating.
Resource: Ramit Sethi’s Money for Couples (2024)
